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Many of these folks are young, not so well informed about themselves or the possibilities of relationships, a they might be. Some others are not interested in a relationship but rather a sort of intense one night stand, which will cause some to think uncomfortably of exploitation. And there is some of that, surely.
However, there is a substantial body of not especially scene oriented folks for whom the submissive person is *not* in charge and it is just that which forms the core of the relationship in a substantial sense. These folks are usually older and less easily distinguishable on stylistic grounds from the hoi polloi; some may be close by, unknownst to you! Clear and consistent communication is required, as there is a more permanent underlying relation than in scene-oriented BDSM. Except in unusual circumstances the submissive person is still obliged to exist in the mundane world (job, driving citations, concerts, landlords, ...), and so there cannot be the sort of micro control imagined (or desired or feared) by some.
The difference from Taken in Hand relationships of these latter is that physical kink of one sort or another is more common (though none is universal given differing desires / triggers / needs), and, perhaps because of this, that the arrangement between the parties is likely to be more formal and explicit. Or should be. In many respects, there is a convergence with Taken in Hand.
by a Taken In Hand reader on 2005 Oct 8 - 20:23 | reply to this comment rule of power I liked how you phrased your last sentence. Having the power to rule doesnt mean the husband has to rule unconsiderately and I do agree with that particular sentiment. Although I like the sentiment you expressed so eloquesntly, I will say that from my own experience, a lover/a husband can rule inconsiderately consistently for years and there is nothing the lover/the wife can do about it on the same token. Just food for thought. Just so you know.
by a Taken In Hand reader on 2006 Mar 1 - 13:32 | reply to this comment Nothing you can do about it?
