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Despite my interest in combat sports, I’m a peaceful man. I’m against war, I hate animal cruelty, and I support women’s rights. I try to live an ethical life. I did my best to project these philosophical views publicly.

“Look at me! Look how peaceful I am!”

I’m finally starting to wake up. I realize that I don’t need to be a strict vegan to care about animal rights. I can argue for women’s rights and still enjoy sex. My ability to deliver a vicious rear-naked choke doesn’t mean I’m pro-war.

An absolutist mentality added stress to my life. I was always trying to fit a mold. I wanted people to think, “There’s Crew. He’s a mystical vegan pickup artist. He’s such a deep thinker.” In reality no one is saying anything about me–at least not to my face. So why should I care what they think?

Men should stop being afraid to be men. Grow a beard. Exercise your competitive nature in a sanctioned fight, and grab free-range steak together afterward. Make love to your girlfriend/wife. Life isn’t about trying to fit into boxes; it’s about appreciating the human experience and all of its intricacies.

It’s time I hit the gym and start looking for martial arts schools. But I’m not deleting my philosophy ebooks or junking my DSLR. There’s nothing wrong with depth.

“The stock clerk is eyeballing you. You should say hi.”

I’m talking to my client, Jake. He’s been making eyes at a cute brunette who works at Nordstrom’s, and she’s reciprocating.

“I don’t know man. She’s working. It doesn’t count,” Jake replies.

“What the hell are you talking about? What do you mean it doesn’t count?” I ask.

“This type of situation doesn’t make me a better pickup artist. It’s not a real ‘approach’,” he answers.

I’ve had a similar conversation with hundreds of men. They’re convinced that a given scenario doesn’t “count” towards improving social skills. Whether she’s a cashier, bartender, or librarian, it’s not a real “pickup” if she’s working. Sometimes men claim a conversation is voided because the woman showed interest prior to being approached.

This mindset makes no sense.

There’s no flirting scorekeeper in the sky, no referee to call a foul for unalpha-like conduct, and no one is going to make fun of you. This belief is usually held by men who are more concerned with public opinion than getting better at talking with women. It’s usually the same men who